Dream House (2011)

I hate to use another pre-written, contemporary review but sadly I didn’t see any movies I could review right now so I’m putting it out there.  This is the last pre-written one I have so that will thankfully force me to work on more movies for this blog so bear with me.   Friday starts our Road to the Oscars!

Another film I avoided in the theaters and saw on DVD and wow am I glad I skipped this.  Dream House has one thing going for it and that is Mr. Daniel Craig.  Yes, James Bond himself took the time to make this movie…and boy does it suck.  The movie’s main problem is…what the hell is it?  It’s a drama, if so why are there ghosts?  Is it a horror film, if so it’s not scary at all!  And if you saw the commercials for this film, and I mean ANY commercials including the trailer, then you get the reveal of the only big twist that would allow you to suspend any disbelief.  Sure Daniel Craig is hot but this movie pushes the boundaries of one’s sanity.

Will Atenton (Daniel Craig) gives up a lucrative job in favor of publishing a novel and spending more time with his wife Libby (Rachel Weisz) and two daughters.  When strange things start happening in their new house, Will must solve the mystery which pulls him towards neighbor Ann (Naomi Watts).

So I’ll try not to be an ass, like the studio that marketed this movie, and reveal the only big twist of this movie.  The problem is said twist is revealed right in the middle of the movie and you’re still left with over 30 minutes of film.  Had the movie made you genuinely question Craig’s sanity, it could have at least made the attempt of being a good film.  Instead, Dream House is dull, lifeless, and boring.  We’re introduced to Craig’s family and see them do cute family things, and oh yeah at certain times the cute little girl says she’s sees people outside the house.  When the twist is revealed, Craig’s character just goes through the same motions while nothing that things aren’t as they seem.

The problem is how bored the cast seems with the material, almost like they know they’re making crap so they put in zero effort.  Craig just looks tired, pouting his lips and drooping his eyes to convey emotion…and sure when the movie needs a spark of life he takes his shirt off (thank you!).  The character is supposed to be American yet Craig has a hell of a time trying to hide his British accent and instead just seems to forgo it and talk normally.  Weisz is bland as the fun, sweet wife.  Weisz and Craig eventually married after making this film and boy can you tell how much….love they share because they’re ALWAYS making out in this movie.  I swore there were a few times they were supposed to be exchanging dialogue but stop so they can play tonsil hockey.  I shouted (to myself) “Get a room already” more than a few times.  And Naomi Watts…she’s the catalyst of the movie yet really anybody could have played the character.

The writing gets lazy right around the end of the movie when it’s revealed who is the person responsible for ruining Craig’s life.  This is where my eyes rolled so far around I think I saw the back of my head.  The character is revealed in flashback talking to a hitman.  ***SPOILER It’s revealed that Ann’s husband is the one pulling the strings and tells the hitman on the phone it’s the third house on the left and to kill Ann so she “can’t have my daughter.”  Now the hitman has this information and yet gets the house wrong, killing Will’s wife and DAUGHTERS.  Let’s recap.  The hitman is apparently not at the third house on the left, and doesn’t find it odd that there’s two little girls instead of one?  Better yet why does Ann’s stupid husband have to be so damn vague.  Why didn’t he give him a fucking address with street numbers…or better yet a picture of his fucking wife and daughter!!!!  ***END SPOILER.  Yeah the ending of this movie is lazy as shit and pisses me off, ruining any goodwill (which is none) this movie could have had.

I won’t say I hated Dream House, strongly disliked is the better answer.  It’s stupid, it’s sloppy, and the actors look medicated.  A total skip from me.

Grade: D-